


Cold Rain/Warm Tears

by doubleDerivative (IndigoTheSheep)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 09:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14210112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoTheSheep/pseuds/doubleDerivative
Summary: In which Roxy, Jane, and John are fighting an unspecified enemy when Roxy takes a fatal hit. Pain, a confession, and a first kiss ensue.





	Cold Rain/Warm Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Let's just kinda pretend that since Jane's life-dealy-thing is a one time use per person, she's already used it on Roxy before.

The concrete beneath me chills my skin, seeping into my bones; freezing wind whips around me, unforgiving; icy raindrops hit my skin like bullets; but I feel none of it. I feel nothing except a slight tingle where an antique knife is embedded deep into my abdomen. Slowly, my senses return: I see the looming figure in the distance, waiting for me to die from afar; I feel my body shake from the cold, my lungs shuddering as they bring in frozen air; the chill of the concrete finally reaches my skin, except from where blood blossoms like poppies in the spring. There, it is warm, too warm.

My hand moves of its own accord, finding the stream of red spilling down onto the ground. I bring my fingers to my face, staring detached at the red tinge lacing my fingertips, and end up just dropping it where it is, not having the energy to move any more. I hear footsteps rushing toward me, but they sound distant compared to the patter of rain on concrete. Something- no, _someone_ is touching me now, checking my wrist for a pulse, but I can’t see who, completely unable to move my eyes from that looming figure. In the mix of the chill rain I feel warmer drops hitting my skin, starting with a few, but soon multiplying. The fuzz in my ears clears enough for me to hear a sharp yet careful voice whispering to me. “Please please please be okay. Oh god. Can you hear me? Please.”

Delicate hands move my head slowly onto something much softer than the cruel ground. As the warm drops continue hitting me, I suddenly realize something, whoever this is is crying. I desperately want to move my eyes, to see who is cradling me so close, to make sense of what’s happened, but I can’t. I can’t move at all. The sensation of fingers brushing through my hair brings me back from my thoughts. This person’s touch feels so familiar, so warm and welcoming, like I could just melt into it and have not a care in the world. Another set of footsteps, and a rough yet gentle voice reaches my ears.

“What happened?” the new person asks, voice wavering with restrained anger and worry.

“I- I don’t know? She got hit but I didn’t even know… I didn’t see it stab her even,” the first person warbles back, fighting a losing battle against tears. Eventually, I gather the energy to move my eyes, and look down. Tan pants… tan pants?

“Janey?” my voice cracks, barely audible. I scrunch my eyes against the light of the sky, sliding them painfully until I meet her eyes, craning my neck slightly. Her red-rimmed eyes widen a bit as a small gasp barely escapes her throat.

“Yeah, Rox?” she replies, trying her best to steady her voice.

“It hurts.” There was more that I wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words. “I’m scared.” My words felt far away, everything did.

I could practically see her heart shatter as she replies in a shaky voice, “I know, I know.” There’s silence, only broken by the occasional sniffle in the distance. I look away, and finally find the second person from earlier: John. He’s a couple feet away, trying hard not to just start straight up wailing. Once again, warm droplets intermix with the freezing droplets hitting my skin. I turn again to look at Jane’s red-rimmed light blue eyes. I bring a shakey hand up to her cheek, wiping away some of her tears with my thumb, leaving a red streak across the top of her cheek instead.

“Don’t cry, hon. Please? It’ll be okay, I promise. Hey, are you listenin’ to me?” I tried to keep my tone even, which was difficult through my clenched teeth. She meets my eyes, but says nothing, only wipes at her eyes and whimpering pathetically, just barely audibly. I take the moment to decide what I want to say next.

_It’s okay._

_There’s nothing to worry about._

_I’ll be fine._

_I’m sorry._

_I love you._

Before I have much time to think, I start feeling lightheaded, so I decide to say all of it. Everything I’ve ever wanted to say.

I attempt a feeble “hey” to get her attention, then try to get her to get closer to me. I lean up and place a quick kiss on her lips, hoping that the message gets through. I take a deep breath, well, as deep as I can without moving to the point of pain. I let my expression change into one more serious, turning slightly so that I can address both John and Jane.

“I know you’re not gonna like this, but I needa ask ya ta do somethin’ fer me.” I pause for a moment to make sure they’re both listening. I sigh slightly, knowing the words I’m about to say are gonna hurt all of us. “I need you to… uhm… take the knife out… of me.” Before either can object, words come tumbling out of my mouth without a second thought. “Yeah, am not stupid, I know it’s gonna kill me. But, I don’t have long left, I dunno how much exactly, but I’d rather it be less than more. Because, gogdammit, this shit hurts. And, I don’t wanna hurt anymore, I’m already lightheaded, so I’m not gonna be here much longer. So jus’, please, let me go.” I’m not sure exactly how far into my little speech I started crying, but now the tears wouldn’t stop. They both just looked at me with empty, horrified looks for a few moments. They shared a look, and John came over and crouched beside me.

I took Jane’s hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze, and tried to brace for what would be the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. But, that didn’t stop me from letting out a short scream when John finally pulled the knife out, with some difficulty, as in was partially buried into the ground. I wasn’t awake much longer than that, but I did get to say one final thing to Jane before.

“Love you, Janey.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading? It's kinda short because I kinda just wrote it while I was bored on a very long bus ride. Hope you enjoyed!


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